Never are these sayings more true than
with regards to trauma. A little time spent right after a potentially
traumatic event can prevent trauma from developing. (On the other hand, it's
never too late to heal from trauma. To schedule an appointment for
trauma healing click here.)
Trauma First Aid for Children
Children are the most vulnerable to
trauma. The younger we are when an event happens, the more likely it is that
we will be traumatized, even from relatively "minor" events. The
following can help prevent trauma in children (and adults.)
1. Take care of yourself first. Think of it as putting on your own
oxygen mask in the plane before putting one on your child. The most
important first aid tip is for you to be calm yourself. Take a deep breath
and exhale slowly, sensing the feelings in your body. Repeat until you feel
calm. It’s natural to feel emotions like fear or anger, but it’s important
to let them settle.
2. Keep the child quiet and still. If there is a need to immediately
move the child to safety, support or carry the child, even if he/she appears
capable of moving on his/her own. Make sure the
child is kept warm.
3. Take plenty of time. Make sure that the child takes plenty of time
to rest in a safe place, especially if the child is overly emotional (or
overly calm) or there are signs of shock or
disorientation: glazed eyes, pale skin, rapid or shallow breathing, or
trembling. You can help the child settle down by being relaxed, quiet,
and still yourself. If hugging or holding seem appropriate, do so in a
gentle, non-restricting way. Be supportive but don’t do anything that
interferes with the child’s natural body responses. For example, don’t use
excessive patting or rocking, they are too distracting from his/her internal
experience.
4. Ask about sensations. As the dazed look begins to wear off, ask “What
do you feel in your body?” Slowly repeat any
answers you’re given in the form of a question. “You feel bad in your body?”
Then wait for a response. Then ask a more specific question,
“Where do you feel that bad feeling?” Let the child show you. If the child
points to his stomach, ask, “How do you feel in your tummy?” If the child reports a distinct sensation, pause
and then ask a more
specific question. For example gently inquire about its exact location, or
its size, shape, color, etc. Help the child follow the sensation as it changes over time. “How does the lump in your tummy feel
now?” Mirror the response: “The lump feels softer now?”
5. Pause between questions. Allowing a moment or two between
questions will permit the completion of any cycle of release. Asking
questions too close together is distracting from the process, which can’t be
rushed. A sign that a cycle of release has taken place might be a deep
relaxed breath, crying or trembling stopping, a stretch, or a smile. Often there are
several cycles of release. Keep the child gently focused on sensations for a few more minutes
to make sure the process is complete.
6. Don’t ask about the event yet. Stay body focused, without
discussion about what happened or why. This what and why kind
of talk involves the reasoning part of the brain. It’s more important to
stay in the instinctual part of the brain, where the "language" is body
sensations.
7. Tell the child their physical response is normal. Children often
begin to cry or tremble as they come out of shock. This process can feel scary
to experience and to watch. However, the physical expression of distress
needs to continue until it stops or levels out on its own. This usually takes a few minutes
and is time well spent. Studies
show that children who take this opportunity after an accident have fewer
problems recovering. Reassure the child, saying something like “That’s good,
just let the scary stuff shake out of you.”
8. Finally, discuss the event and the child’s emotional response.
Later, when the child is safe and calm, allow some time for
drawing pictures, storytelling or for “play acting” the incident. Begin by
asking the child to tell you what happened. He/she may be experiencing
anger, fear, sadness, embarrassment, shame, or guilt. Tell the child about a
time when you felt the same way or had a similar
experience. This will help normalize what the child is feeling. Let him/her
know that whatever he/she is feeling is OK and that he/she did nothing
wrong.
The key points:
Slow down.
Pay attention to the body.
Trust in the process.
Remember that you are not doing the work. The body’s innate ability to
return to balance will proceed with a little support. It’s as natural as a
stream flowing downhill. Especially with children, the ability to rebound is
remarkable. This little time spent preventing trauma is a great gift to give
a child, an adult, or yourself.
Most of the above is adapted from Waking the Tiger by Peter A. Levine.
This book and other resources are available from
www.traumahealing.com.
